


Ferda Bis

by Nary



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, Hockey, Humor, Language, M/M, Pre-Slash, Puns & Word Play, Small Towns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: Everyone else in Letterkenny knows something Reilly and Jonesy haven't figured out yet.





	Ferda Bis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [renaissance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/gifts).



_There's only so much to do out on the town in Letterkenny on a Friday night, specially since MoDean's II burned down. You got three choices, if sitting home tuggin' your nuts ain't fun enough for you: you can go to the Ukrainian Hall for the cheapest beer, you can go to the Legion for the second-cheapest, or you can go to the Friday night dance at the Youth Center, where there's no booze allowed but Stewart and the Skids might be selling meth in the parking lot if it's not snowing. It's a rich tapestry of entertainment options._

* * *

When the Shamrockettes dusted the Iverton Lady Vipers, of course they wanted to celebrate, so the Ukrainian Hall was their first port of call. Jonesy and Reilly herded them in as best they could, but Mary-Anne and Betty-Anne had each had a mickey in their locker and the celebration had started early. Things were getting out of hand before they even set foot in the door.

"Would've been 6 to 2 if Betty-Anne hadn't tossed that pizza up into the stands."

"Gee, Mary-Anne, I didn't know you could count as high as six. Did you pick that up when they held you back in kindergarten?"

"Picked it up as quick as I picked up your dad outside the bus depot, Betty-Anne. He really knows how to scratch the itch in my gitch."

"Maybe your gitch wouldn't itch if you scraped the crabs out of it, Mary-Anne."

Reilly and Jonesy knew better by now than to try and intervene - the girls might get drunk enough to work up to a real scrap, but more likely they'd keep chirping away at one another until one or both of them found something more fun to do. "Let's get a round for the team, bud," Jonesy suggested.

"Let's get a fuckin' round of pounders, bud," Reilly agreed, slinging an arm around his shoulders. 

Bonnie McMurray was behind the bar, and she gave them a big smile as they approached. "Celebrating something big, boys?"

"Sure are," Jonesy said. "The Shamrockettes advanced to the semis - on our way to that third tugboat!"

"On our way to that third fuckin' dinghy, bro!"

"Gonna get us that third god damn ferry, bro!" Jonesy said, and the two of them pumped their fists.

"Oh, well, that's great too," Bonnie said, smiling brightly. "Congratulations!" She started pulling pitchers, but it was gonna take a while. 

"Bro, what did she mean, 'too'?" Reilly asked, puzzled, as they stood there waiting.

* * *

_Sometimes you gotta take a step back, look at the big picture. You can't see the forest for the trees, which come to think of it is a dumb fuckin' turn of phrase. The forest's made of trees, you can't go two steps without hitting one, that's how you know you're in a god damn forest._

* * *

After they'd worn out their welcome at the Ukrainian Hall, they hustled the Shamrockettes - those they hadn't lost to the ladies' room floor or the obvious charms of Bonnie McMurray - over to the Legion for a few more brews. 

Ron and Dax were bellied up to the bar, but they swung around in unison to greet Jonesy and Reilly when they noticed they were there.

"We hear you're rockin' those semis, boys," Dax said with a smirk.

"You know it," Jonesy said. "Gonna give those semis a lickin'."

"Yeah, we know you boys can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'," Ron added, giving Jonesy a fist bump. "Hey, give him one for me."

"And give him two and three for me," said Dax with a wink. "By the time you get to three, he'll be so revved up he won't know if he's goin' or comin'."

"Yeah, three's a real nice number," Reilly agreed. "We're lookin' for that third cruise ship, you know?"

"If it's cruising you're after, we can give you a tip or two," Ron said.

"Just the tip," Dax interjected, licking his lips.

"And if you're ever looking for a two-man advantage, you know where to find us." They gave one another a knowing look. 

"Ferda!" said Reilly. 

"Oh yeah, ferda!" Jonesy agreed cheerfully. They'd each already pounded back a few and were inclined to agree with just about anything.

Still, when they stepped away, Reilly and Jonesy were left with the nagging feeling that they were missing something.

* * *

_Some folks want you to try new things. Expand your horizons. But I like my horizons where I can see 'em: way the fuck over there. That way you can keep an eye on them shifty bastards._

* * *

After the Legion, they were down to their last two Shamrockettes. Of course Betty-Anne and Mary-Anne would be the ones who held out the longest, neither one willing to call it a night before the other. Swaying on the street corner, the two of them took it into their heads that they were going to go dancing come hell or high water, so Reilly and Jonesy steered them in the direction of the Youth Center. There might not be a bar there, but they still had flasks, and anyway, Betty-Anne and Mary-Anne both already had more beers in them than teeth.

The music drifting out of the Youth Center wasn't the usual country or pop, but Jonesy and Reilly didn't pay too much attention until they got inside and found a crowd of people swinging each other around in the air to some kind of old-timey jazz music. "What the fuck?" Jonesy said as they inched carefully into the room.

"Bro, did we time travel or something?" Reilly asked uncertainly.

Wayne, Daryl, and Squirrely Dan were standing along the wall with their arms folded. Since the hicks were the only folks who looked like their usual selves, Reilly and Jonesy gravitated over towards them. "Hey, fellas, what's goin--"

"Swing dancing," Wayne said flatly. "Every third Friday."

"Doesn't seem like your kinda scene," Jonesy observed.

"Miss Katy wanted to go," Dan informed them. 

"And Tanis dragged Wayne," Daryl added helpfully, ignoring Wayne's glare.

Both Jonesy and Reilly looked around automatically at Katy's name. Even if they weren't dating her anymore, they still kept an eye out for her. They spotted her dancing with Tanis, laughing as the other woman swung her from one side to the other. 

"Why aren't you dancing with Tanis, if she dragged you?" asked Jonesy.

"He don't know how," Daryl said.

"Not that it's any of your business," Wayne added, frowning harder.

"Congratulations, bys the ways." Dan had a way of shifting the conversation away from hot button issues when it came to Wayne. 

"Oh, you heard?" Reilly and Jonesy were a bit surprised - the hicks never seemed to pay too much attention to the finer details of hockey, but they guessed word about the Shamrockettes' victory had spread even to them. 

"Indeeds we did," said Dan, beaming. "And I wants yous to know that I'm real proud of yous. Professor Tricia says that coming out of the closets is a big step for LGBTQs towards living their truths."

"Wait just a tick," Jonesy said.

"Yeah, dial it back a notch there, boys - did you say 'coming out'?"

"Well... sure," Daryl said. "Everyone in Letterkenny's talkin' about how when the Shamrockettes won tonight, you two kissed each other, right out on the ice an' all. Most folks said it's about time."

Jonesy and Reilly looked at once another, stunned. "Wheel snipe celly, boys," Jonesy protested. "We got a W, everyone was hugging, things might've got out of hand..."

"We heard there was tongue action," Wayne said.

"Some chiclet chasing," Daryl added.

"A bit of the old tonsil tickling," Dan nodded sagely. 

"I don't think there was," Reilly said. "Was there, bud?"

"I think I'd remember something like that, bud."

"Yous always remember your first kiss with someones you love," Dan said, giving them a fond smile. "Unless of course yous is too schnockered to remember it."

Reilly and Jonesy stepped away from the trio, needing a little while to process this news. "Bro, everyone in town thinks we're dating, bro."

"How're we gonna tell them we're not, bro?" Reilly asked. 

"Boys, there's a real easy solution to your problem." They turned around to see Katy standing there. That was a relief, since they were used to doing what Katy told them, and usually her ideas were pretty good.

"What is it, Katy Kat?" 

"Yeah, what do we do, Katy Kat?"

Katy smiled. "If you really were dating, you wouldn't have to worry about telling people you aren't. Besides, everyone's real happy for you. Including me." She stepped closer, giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Don't think I never noticed you two cock-looking at each other."

Jonesy and Reilly blushed, their faces going beet red. "I wasn't cock-looking, were you, bro?"

"Only if you were, bro..."

"Well, I might've once or twice, but just 'cause I was curious."

"Ain't nothing wrong with being a little bi-curious, boys," Katy said. "So go on, dust off your bi-noculars and give each other a bi-five."

Reilly looked over at Jonesy. "I guess we could give it a go, bud. Ferda bis."

"Ferda bis," Jonesy agreed, giving him a tentative fistbump that turned into a clumsy hand-hold.

"All right, you two super-soft sallies, run along," Katy said, smiling affectionately at them as Mrs. McMurray came to drag her onto the dance floor. Tanis had apparently managed to lure Wayne into joining her and was teaching him some new moves. "Bye bye now."

They stood there for a while holding hands, not quite sure what to do. "Bro, if we're going out, can I still call you my bro?" Jonesy asked.

"Brofriend?" Reilly suggested hopefully. 

"Registered Brotician," Jonesy agreed, and leaned over to give him a kiss, ignoring the scattered applause from the gathered onlookers.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
